Kia ora
Here is the recount I wrote for an Asttle writing test in Week 4. Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level 3A which is above the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the lowest marks for spelling.
We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. We have to have practically perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling in our stories before we are allowed to publish them here. I hope someone will give me some feedback.
Ka kite ano
“Yay!!” I yelled.
My nana, brother, mum, dad and I were going to America on the airline called Delta to visit my aunt and uncle.The airplane was blue, red and white. When we boarded the airplane I went and sat next to my brother and my dad.The seats were so squishy it was like sitting on clouds. As we took off I started getting butterflies in my stomach. We glided through the clouds like a swan on a lake.
After we had taken off, the flight attendant came around and gave us our headphones so we could watch TV. When I got my headphones I turned on my TV and looked through the Disney movies and found Big Hero 6, so I decided to watch it and my brother watched Frozen so many times I lost count. Big Hero 6 was really funny because when a boy tried to put the armour on the robot it wouldn’t stay on.
After the the movie was finished the flight attendant came around and asked if I wanted a drink of some sort. “ Water please,” I said.
“Ok,” said the fight attendant. When the fight attendant had lifted I went on to games and my brother was still watching Frozen.
An hour later, the flight attendant came around with dinner. It was mashed potato with beans and peas with chicken and for dessert there was a tub of chocolate mousse. It looked and tasted delicious. When I had finished dinner, I looked out my window and saw some little island in the sea, and before I knew it I was a sleep.
The next morning, the flight attendant came around and gave me my breakfast. There were waffles and fruit salad and after I was finished I went back and played fun games like Pacman and a game with cavemen. They had to run away from the lava that came out of the volcano.
